PROLOGUE

Have you experienced in your life that somehow you were looking for something, and yet you do not know what is it you’re looking for? I did. There was a time in my life that I had several questions lurking in my mind, things that seem pretty dumb, or at some way too vast for my mind to handle. I was lost, edgy, like a cat on a hot tin roof. I do not know what to do, and I do not know what I am living for. I felt uneasy and wanted to escape my reality. So I did things in accordance to my own desire, my own preferences, and my own strength of character. And things became even worse.

I decided to write down some of the things that happened to me when I was very lost and nowhere to be found, a soul searching for his purpose in life, a man trying desperately to fit in the world I grew up with, a warrior fighting against the battles of time. This is me then, and I will show you who I am now.

I believe that EVERY CHAPTER OF MY LIFE IS IMPORTANT. Every second, every hour, every day of my life is significant and of great essence. But if I write everything that has happened to me for the whole complete years of my existence, I don’t think I would be able to complete this book. I started writing this book last 2006, and I kept adding and adding several events and episodes of my life, so I really had no time to finish and publish it. And finally, I decided to include only the events that are very memorable to me, since all these events that had happened in the past is a part of God’s history of salvation for me, and for that I am very grateful.

When I first started writing my experiences, it was only like writing in a blog. I did it because it was the trend at that time, the famous fad. But then, I had this desire to write about all my experiences, all the goodness God did to me. But then I started asking, “Why”? Why would I waste my time writing about my life? Who will be stupid enough to be interested in reading a story of a person they barely know? So I started researching and asking people questions on why they want to write their history, hoping that maybe, just maybe, some of their answers would be applicable to me.

Some say that writing is a form of relaxation; that they need to write in order to put order to their thoughts, just like in a journal. But for me, if I want to relax, I’ll just lie on my bed and go to sleep. That’s my favorite way of relaxation. I also heard that writing is a form of a marketing instrument that it helps to promote one’s self. If he wants to become known, he could try to create a consistent autobiography and promote it. In this way, he may get to be known by others, he may get to be popular; for journalists, for example, it is vital. But I am not a journalist. I’m a software engineer, so I don’t need to write just so I would be popular. I just have to create impressive and notable softwares together with my team. So this reason doesn’t work out for me either. One guy said it was because of loneliness, that people are lonely. They don’t have people around to listen to them, so they end up arranging a conversation with wider audience through writing. It doesn’t suit me either. I already belong in a community in the Church when I started writing my experiences, so I already have other people to listen to me shooting the breeze. So after several attempts, to no avail, I did not have a single answer from people, only now that I realized why I wanted to write about my experiences.

So now, maybe you will ask, “So what is it? Why did you write about your history?”. It is because of only one thing. To announce to the people how good God is, how He allowed me to see how beautiful my history is, how on every chapter of my life, He is with me, how on every suffering, every struggle, every cross, He saves me from the pit of death. This is the reason. God loves me the way I am, and I don’t have to strain myself using my own strength and will to make people love me, because I know for a fact that there is someone who loves me the way I am. And if He saved me from death several times, loving me the way I am right now, and giving me the grace to ask mercy to Him to convert my heart everyday of my life, He does it also to each and every one of you in different ways, different aspects, and different outlooks. There is a God. He exists. He forgives. He loves. This is the reason why I continued writing and finishing this book. To announce to the people how God loves us the way we are.

I saw in different books that most of the writers, in the first page of their books, they write their special thanks and dedications, so I started thinking on who to thank for and to whom will I dedicate this book. I do not have any particular or special person to thank for but I do thank God for giving me the grace to know Him little by little and allowing me to experience a taste of the life He prepared for me. I thank Him for His mercy and His grace. I thank Him for finding me. I thank Him for He has not forsaken me, nor He has forgotten me. If I include all the reasons on why should I thank Him, this prologue will not be over until a couple of years or so.

For those people who feel that they are all alone, lost and nowhere to be found, who thinks that there is no hope anymore, I dedicate this story to all of you. Life is serious. Be grateful for He has given you more than what you can imagine, more than what you expected, even more than what you deserved. I know because I am.

This story is not at all about me. This is a story about God, on how He has pulled me out of the pit of death.

The whereabouts of a lost soul.